"**Note
from Editor: Please indulge in the latest post from my colleague,
"Ralph", and her adventures in finding "The One"**
Putting
yourself out there to try to meet someone gets exhausting. I went
thru a few months where I was dating three people at the same time (no physical
stuff until monogamous though, I’m not that kind of girl...actually maybe I
would be that type of girl but I just wasn’t that into any of these dudes).
Anyways,
I dated these guys because they were nice, appropriate and had the same
religious background as yours truly. For the past six years actually,
I’ve only seriously dated people that are of the same religion as me because I
figure it would work out in the long run. In fact, I would ignore huge
imperfections because, at the end of the day, we had similar cultural and religious
upbringings. Yet, 6 years later, here I am, post-yet
another-break-up. The whimsical visions of walking those 4 circles to
holy matrimony are still fresh in my mind as I thought that this time, maybe
this time, it would work.
Years
ago, I dated my best friend. He was Sikh and I am Hindu and yet, our
connection was deeper than any I’d ever had with a Hindu male. I started
the relationship out with a caveat, stating firmly, “this can never be
long-term because I’m marrying a Hindu guy.” Looking back on it, our
bitter break-up, albeit very much so due to his cheating and lying ways, also
had a lot to do with my inability to go all-in because I knew, or thought I
knew, the credentials needed of my future “life partner”. (cue: my
wannabe bio-data language)
I think
about it now and I wonder, what if the religious contradiction was never an
issue? Would we have then perhaps become that envious cliché found in
every Yash Chopra Hindi film? Best friends who innocently fall in
love. Wow – what a trip that would have been.
Bringing
it back to 2012, I sit here and I think about the small pool of people I have
to date and choose from – all for what? I love my religion and I want to
marry within it, but at what cost? Religion is about God and God is about
Love and Love, romantic, weak in the knees, friendship, soul mate, exploding
heartbeat love...well, I’m not sure if that’s the same love as "God
Love" – but I know that I’m more happy, blissful and AT PEACE with life
when I’m in love. So maybe religion is important, yes – absolutely.
But maybe my faith and how I view my beliefs is more closely linked to all
encompassing Love, rather than in the details of my religion. Or maybe,
just maybe, I’m having a crisis of identity as I sit here, alone again, mending
my clichéd, exhausted and hackneyed broken heart.
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