Schooling Todd Akin

It’s hard to keep up with current events when you are as self-involved as I am (so much so that I had to edit this post twice because I didn't have my facts straight).  However, it was pretty difficult not to hear about Todd Akin and the downfall that was his campaign.  If you have been living under a rock, Todd Akin is a member of the House representing the fine state of Missouri for the past 11 years.  He tragically made the following comments during an interview after being asked his views on whether a woman who became pregnant due to rape should have an option of abortion:

“Well you know, people always want to try to make that as one of those things, well how do you, how do you slice this particularly tough sort of ethical question. First of all, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something. I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.”

Before you continue reading, let it marinate for a minute.  Go ahead, it’s fine; I’m not going anywhere.

Should we talk about how the American school system, high education system, and all around societal intellect has failed us?  Can we skip that and move onto the science?  Awesome.

It’s certainly not cute that Akin has no idea what he’s talking about.  I, however, have done a little research and have found some interesting information around the evolution of rape. 

The definition of “rape” varies.  Forced intercourse is the “popular” definition, but it is disputed across all disciples and hasn’t gained a consensus due to its sensitive nature.  The percentage of rape has a higher incidence in young adult communities (aged 19 to 35 which coincidentally is the age of highest reproductive value) as well as within couples who are in relationships.  And given the demographic, rape that occurs within a context of a relationship is often not as commonly reported.

There is a huge controversy in the scientific world on the continuity of rape.  I realize in saying this, I just set off a bomb, but let me explain. The down and dirty is that rape exists in nature.  It is nature’s method of genetic perpetuation.  The problem (thankfully) is that we aren’t dragonflies.  The controversy lies in whether in humans, it’s an evolved psychological adaptation or whether it is a “side effect” of a male’s preconceived sexual strategy to find “low-cost casual sex”.

Studies have shown that rapists, by in large, have low self-esteem, are less attractive, have a low socioeconomic status and thus are largely less genetically viable males.  That all being said could it be possible to profile a rapist?  Theoretically, yes.  Realistically, no.  It’s a huge generalization (and if you know me, I HATE generalizations.)

In any event, rape may have been evolved as a sexual strategy, and if society continues to sexually evolve as it has, we will be unable to profile potential rapists and rapists might (hopefully) become obsolete.

Someone send this piece to Todd Akin (Aiken), courtesy of controvershiL.

My Raging Libido

I’m totally digging these “no frills” sex dates that I’ve been doing.  An afternoon appointment to be pleased by a hot dude whose only reason in coming over is to do just that.  I actually got to know one of these guy’s a little during our brief recharge breaks, and he wasn’t a terrible guy.  That’s not to say that I’m falling in love, because I’m not.  I just feel like this guy might be selling himself a little short.

He’s very good looking and successful.  It made me wonder why he’s still single and not hubbied up by one of those skinny fair girls whose sole purpose for existing is to marry a guy like this.  (For the record:  when I met this guy, I totally pictured him with a pretty skinny girl and would have totally set him up with one of my friends if I didn’t want to bang him). 

Whatever.  I’m just happy to be having a regular sex partner once again, and thank god he showed up when he did, because it was slim pickings what with the idiotic celibacy break I took.  I can’t tell whether it’s because he’s fresh meat or whether he really can just hit me the right way, because I really can’t get enough, which I’m actually pretty happy about considering I was worried about my libido dying (pushing 30 and all). 

There’s a huge disconnect between men and women’s libidos as they get older.  Both men and women have a slowed libido as they get older, however, men’s testosterone production doesn’t stop, whereas women’s estrogen production does.   It is what it is, and when the marvels of science catch up, which in some sense it has with the onset of estrogen injections and the like, libidos will all level out and everyone will have the sex they want/need.

However, before we are all blessed with OTC hormones, my theory is that men’s libido fails with monogamy.  It goes back to my theory about how men are biologically inclined to perpetuate their genes.  That, in combination with The Coolidge Effect *, theoretically results in a man who is unable to be sexually satisfied…ever.

So what about all these men who claim they have healthy sex lives?  That they are satisfied with their “one” sex partner?  I remain skeptical and go back to my several pieces on “cheating” and wonder if they are getting their fix elsewhere.  Okay, I lied, I don’t just wonder, I’m about 75% sure they are.  And those that aren’t?  Well I won’t be the one to say it.   

I don’t think I’ll be losing my libido anytime soon and when I do (in ten years), I plan on being first in line for those estrogen pills that I’ll abuse like I do my Xannys now. 

I want to dedicate this to all my friends who have taken the courage to get out of marriages that weren’t working.  You took a risk and you were smart enough to realize you couldn’t fake it.  Good for you.

*I hate Wikipedia, but Google Scholar didn't have the article I wanted to reference and would you really read a peer-reviewed article anyway?

Life is Short - **Guest Blogger**

"**Note from Editor:  Please indulge in the latest post from my colleague, "Ralph", and her adventures in finding "The One"** 

This past Friday I was late for everything.  I had planned to go out of town and missed the bus.  Then, the next bus was delayed which resulted in my being over 2 hours late.  When the bus finally pulled into the station, I booked it to a cab and impatiently took a long 20 min ride across town.  The cab stopped, I jumped out, it was rainy and dark yet the traffic light was clearly red for pedestrians.  I looked to my right for just a moment and then bolted straight across the road.  One foot into the road, I heard the blaring of a horn.  I looked to my right. Headlights inches away from me blinded my vision as I stood there paralyzed for what felt like hours.  Luckily, my instincts (or fear) kicked in and my one foot forward came back.  I could feel the speed of the car rush past me.  I was shaken.

As I attempted to collect my bearings and shrug off the shocked looks of the other less impatient (and much smarter) pedestrians, I had a thought that hasn’t left me since that fateful Friday just one week ago.  Life.Is.Short.  One day you’re walking to the movies, and the next you’re hit by a car, and with your life go all your dreams and what-ifs and fantasies.  Of course ,because I am a romantic my thoughts went straight to my quest for love and how one small irresponsible step could tragically end the search and potential ‘happily ever after’.  My philosophy since then has been to lay my cards on the table and see what happens because it’s better to know what someone is thinking or what could or could not be, than to sit around agonizing over the ‘what ifs’.

Aside from laying ones cards on the table, the other point here is to have a strong heart and stronger bounceback.  The older we get, the more likely our break-ups are harder to handle emotionally because we really just want to find that quintessential person.  However, life is short.  Moping over one mate for too long may cause you to miss out on another who is standing right in front of you.  Trust me.  I speak from experience.

This ‘life is short’ philosophy is easy to preach as I type from behind a screen.  Putting it in motion though, is considerably more difficult.  Currently, there are a few people I wish to bare my soul to – one in particular.  I haven’t yet and this goes completely against my new philosophy!   Yet, I plan to pursue this idea of saying and doing how you feel – perhaps before my next blog post so I can share my results with all of you.  What about you readers?  Is there anyone you want to profess something to – positive or negative?  What’s stopping you?  If there’s anything we’ve learned from recent tragedies (aside from the need for stronger gun control laws which I won’t get into in this post), it is that life is fickle.  Say how you feel and go with your gut – it’s surprising how often it is the right way.  And for all you anxious readers out there asking the question, ‘what if the end result isn’t what I wanted?”  To this I say, man up and grow a pair!  Anything worth saying sometimes makes us have that queasy nervous feeling and that’s absolutely ok.  If it doesn’t work?  Well, to quote my childhood mentor, G.I. Joe, “Knowing is Half the Battle.”

Good luck and Stay Positive!

Cheaters Always Prosper (continued...)

I am finding the need to bring up the topic of “cheating” again because the logic behind the majority of people’s views on cuckoldry, adultery, and related scenarios is “tragically flawed” (my new phrase of the month).  Sure, the majority of people believe in the sanctity of commitment, marriage, or relationships, but there is a reason people are generally insecure about the topic, and the reason is simple.  Monogamy is not biologically sound and thus impossible to maintain. 

Humans have evolved past chimps and bonobos simply because we have the ability to reason.  Unfortunately this reasoning wasn’t meant to crossover into human mating.  If you have read my drama-free sex positive blog, you know that I blame this on Greek concepts brought over to the states by staunch followers who have no basis for the original theory and just passed it on from generation to generation.

But enough of me knocking something that won’t change, let’s talk about nature.  Have you ever seen a bug decide, “Hey, let’s stay together for the rest of our lives, because that’s natural, and our genes will perpetuate.”  No, you haven’t. 

The fact is, we aren’t programmed to have one partner for the rest of our life.  In fact, we are naturally inclined to mate with as many people as we possibly can in order to maximize the genetic potential of our offspring.  And to further this, I’m not just talking about males or females, it’s both. 

The justification for males comes merely in the fact that they are trying to maximize their genetic superiority in the environment by inseminating as many females as they possibly can.  Females, on the other hand, may find a mate who they decide to sleep with, but then, low and behold, a more genetically superior mate comes along, and bam, they sleep with him to increase her chances that our offspring will be…you guessed it, genetically superior.

The facts don’t lie.  The science and biology doesn’t lie.  Sure, we have evolved to reason, but where does that come in when it comes to perpetuating our genes?  It doesn’t.

So when I hear about this one and that one cheating on someone, it doesn’t surprise me.  In fact, I’m a pretty supportive which I realize is the direct opposite of some (most, if not all) of you, but I can’t deny evolution and biology. 

The bottom line?  Genetic superiority is justification for cheating. 

My Latest Post on TwoMangoes.com

Meeting her parents?  Think again....