Loose?

A few of my guy friends invited me out as the token female to validate all of their bullshit.  Of course the majority of the conversation revolved around sex because what else do 30-somethings talk about over bottles of rapper-esque champagne?  In any event, my friend, let’s call him “Carlos”, brought up an incident that occurred with his now ex girlfriend. 

Apparently, Carlos and his then girlfriend were dating for a few months.  All was going well, and while it wasn’t the reason they broke things off, Carlos had a concern about her, physically.  He felt that her “hole” was substantially “looser” than when he first started seeing her.  So of course, after all the childish laughing and idiotic giggling subsided, I railed into him. 

After I left those assholes with their tails between their legs, I came home to research the “Loose Vagina” phenomenon.  The facts are as follows.  Pregnancy and post-pregnancy aside, women’s vaginal canals can’t technically get looser.  Sure, women who have sex on sex on sex have adapted and are able to take a dick better than some hymen-intact virgin, but the science is simple. 

The vaginal canal is a muscle.  It can adapt and change shape (for instance, the way your leg muscles can adapt and change shape), but it cannot just get loose.  Now, just the way your legs and arms can lose their tone, the vagina can also go back to pre-sex shape.  In this sense, yes, the vagina does change shape, however, the proverbial “loose” vagina is a myth. 

This brings us to the subject of kegels.  Females STAY doing kegels like it’s going to keep them “tight”.  Sure, it will build your muscle, but trust me when I say that it won’t ever make you any tighter.  Of course, that’s not to say I don’t do them (I like to workout).

I should remind you that I’m not talking about females who are pregnant or are post-pregnancy, but that actually requires more research than I thought, so stay tuned on future post with respect to that.

So the next time you hear any nonsense about “loose pussy” or anything of the sort, be sure to school your fellow sexers on the vaginal canal as a muscle.  I mean, you don’t see your arms and legs getting all “loose” after you work out, do you? 

Dedicated to Rick Ross.