Monday, August 26

You're Divorced? I'm single.


My mom wants to set me up with this guy and qualified it with “he’s divorced”.  So.  I signed up.

When I was younger and I found the need to get married because that is what everyone does, and I was scared to think about the fact that the divorce rate was on the rise.  I think it was near 48% when was a teenager.  I want to say it’s 51% today, but I have a feeling it’s more.  Now that I’m 30 (31 on September 17th, don’t forget to send me presents!!), and I’ve decided that getting married is not for me, I’ve given up the “terrifying thought” that I’d have a marriage that would end up in divorce.  Lucky for me, I am me.

Well, since I’m 30+, I know several married folks, and consequently, several divorced ones.  And I still can’t, for the life of me, figure out why there is a stigma associated to the divorced ones.  Divorce means you were man enough to figure out that you couldn’t be happy and therefore took the guts to get out of the relationship and not be a pansy ass who wants to make everyone but yourself happy.

Am I projecting?  No, but for most of you, I probably am. 

I mean this furthers into my disdain for seeing “single?, married?, and divorce?” on forms.  Like, why does “divorced” even count?  Doesn’t a divorce just mean you are back to being single again?  And does it really matter?  I’ve been known to judge people who get married and then I stopped because why should I?  Some people can make the commitment that I deem unnatural and others can redact it, which in turn other people judge.

God, I hate being so fucking clichéd, but what I’m saying is that it’s all relative.  But, in any event, back to this guy that my parents want to set me up with.  Without going into too much detail, he’s probably the hottest guy I’ve ever had an opportunity to do.  And the fact is, a guy who is divorced, to me, tells me that he won’t do something just because it’s the right thing to do.  It tells me, that if shit hits the fan, he’ll man up and say something is wrong and walk away if he has to. 

Writing it down actually makes it sound worse.  Maybe it is, but if you aren’t happy, my thought is do what makes you happy, and if it’s walking away, then go right ahead.

He’s not local, so you won’t find out if we hit it off, but I have my agents checking him out so we will get some new information stat.  We will find out his story.  You can follow the most up to date information at my twitter or here on the blog. #newguy

In the meantime, what are your thoughts on marriage and divorce?  Do you judge one more so than the other?  If so, why?   

3 comments:

Madame X said...

good post. i like the thoughts on divorce and making yourself happy. though - sometimes it is easier said than done - at the end of the day though - life is short. be fucking happy.

Madame X said...

i like your thoughts on how you can choose to be happy or to make everyone else happy. divorce is no joke. but then, neither is unhappiness. solid post.

life is short - might as well be happy while we're here.

xo

Anonymous said...

I admit to looking down at divorced Indians. I'm a 35 year old, never married Indian woman who was born and raised in the U.S. I could have married when I was in my 20s, but I stayed true to myself and knew I wasn't ready to get married. I judge these divorced Indians because I think they should have been strong enough to not fall under pressure of getting married if they weren't ready to in the first place. I find that to be a weak character flaw on their part. Harsh? Perhaps. Or maybe it's true and no one wants to admit it because it's not a politically correct thing to say.