Why are all the cute boys in Brooklyn?

…and I’m not trying to be facetious. They really are. They’re the ones who thrive off of their creative mindsets and don’t let the temptation of green drown their passion. More often than not, you can find these boys making pretty pennies off their talent. I should know.

Today, I won’t go into the complexities that is Lucifer. Just know that this half Ecuadorian, half Peruvian boy’s daily regimen of Capoeira carved his body into that of some kind of Greek phenomenon. Just trust me on this.

The tuba player is another Brooklyn gem. Once, I was going to meet a girlfriend for tea. It must have been sometime in the spring. He came up to me and flat out asked to “chill”. Usually, this is a big turn off for me, but for some reason, I gave him my number and we “chilled” (get your mind out the gutter, I didn’t sleep with him…yet). He’s known as “the tuba player” because he plays in a well-known street band across the city. And let me tell you, he blows it pretty well.

The last young fellow I want to talk about (and certainly not the least) is the b-boy. Obviously he’s the break-dancer in my life. Is that all I really need to say about him? He’s fun, kitschy, sexy, and did I mention he’s a break-dancer? Although, you should know, that they don’t call it “break-dancing”, its actually referred to as “breaking”. And that is the new thing that you, my friend, learned today. Back to the story at hand, b-boy and I had a lot of fun. We used to come home in the middle of the night and make out in random little doorways in the Upper East Side. It was my personal wish that someone would walk in on us. That’s just the exhibitionist in me. He gets the most airtime because he and I had the most in common. He’s the only one I would have ever considered a long-term stint with.

But why Brooklyn? While Brooklyn isn’t a terrible place to live, it makes me wonder why these not-so-butter faces end up congregating within blocks of each other (meanwhile, I’m in fear of bumping into past partners during my walk of shame). Individualistic minds tend to migrate and huddle together in the depths of contrast (see: Rent). Strange as they are attempting to swim up-stream, yet displaying huge bits of hypocrisy for clinging to like-minds. Though, genius if you ask me. All I'm saying is that if my friends want to drag me out to Coney Island again, sign me up.