I don’t think I’ve been hit this hard in a really long time (and I just sat here reflecting for five minutes to see when the last time was). That’s not to say that I haven’t been hit this way before, I’m sure I have. It’s just been awhile.
His name is Rick, and don’t pretend like you didn’t know this story was going to be about a boy. He is currently (soon to be recent history) the single most object of my affection and the most charming man I’ve ever met. I won’t get into logistics on how we know each other, but I know him well enough to know that he is my Mother Theresa counterpart.
It was two years ago when we first met. It wasn’t anything out of a fairy tale, just another guy at the center. Of course I thought he was cute, but I was flaky and didn’t pursue. Besides, what would I say to him? My confidence hadn’t peaked till last year and I only saw him in passing. Fast forward to now.
It must have been the serious lack of rejection in my recent history that led me to the sea of disappoint that I’m wading in. Despite all my friends telling me that he didn’t really reject me (“unfortunately” he has a girlfriend). I pretend to read into the “unfortunately”, that maybe I have a chance, but lucky for me I’m smart enough to know better.
I find the need to express the way I feel about him here in hopes that the gods of the Internet will bring us together. He’s the one I’d go straight for. Nix the ring in my nose, the scarf on my head, the fingerless gloves. Delete all the celebrities and pretty boys from my life and let my hair grow long. Move out to east Harlem and let him make me his Maria. I’d be his ride or die chick. Yeah, it’s that serious.
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