After seeing him last night, I have decided against two separate bedrooms.
It's funny how just one night can change your entire outlook, and it felt unbelievably nice to feel my body go light after so long.
I'm also very happy to say that I think my "obsession" with Rick has faded with help from those topped off Smirnoff juices from last night. Okay, the drinking had nothing to do with me changing my mind, but it certainly didn't hurt. Plus, I wanted to celebrate with my boys...including Toby.
Just being near him was enough for me to feel "better". Just looking at him made me smile, and not that bullshit i-want-to-do-you smile, but one of those genuine, you-make-me-light-up smiles. And while the lust was there (and always will be in some sense), it wasn't overpowering
I think I just want to express how happy I felt last night, and I don't want that feeling to go away, and quite honestly, I haven't been this happy since...well...since the last time he was here.
Thanks, Toby. Maybe I'm not being facetious when I say that a piece of me leaves when you're gone. I'm still waiting for you to come home.
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