Depth of Emotion

My best friend, Shari, has bestowed upon her boyfriend a sort of ultimatum to express some “depth of emotion” by the end of summer. I can appreciate that Shari can tell me this because she knows I won’t judge her for doing it, and I won’t because she deserves someone to love her the way she wants and deserves. But in any event, I find the need to comment on this because it’s not my style and thereby needs commenting.

Now if you know me, you know that I follow the “Steven Platek” school of love in which you learn that love is an institution and marriage is an un-evolutionary ploy in which you are inherently denying yourself superior mates. Therefore, I will translate love into “feelings of attachment” or “feelings” for short.

It’s not only difficult but damn near impossible to a. Find someone you are compatible with b. Remain with said person (faithfully) for an extended period of time and then c. Have said person return this feeling (that is contrived in the first place).

I am convinced that Shari’s boyfriend wants to be with her, and while she is attempting to grasp at flyaway feelings with ultimatums and deadlines, I fear that it will inevitably result in a resentment involving both parties. She will resent him for having to force feelings and he will resent her for having been forced.

If all goes well, they’ll express their feelings at the right time in which both are comfortable with. I have faith in her because she deserves it and I have faith in him because he’s a good person. The bottom line is, neither should take life too seriously or too lightly. These two are different from one another, but don’t opposite attract? Having one with the other is what makes a relationship flourish.

Good luck Shari, this one’s for you.