You’re Still Getting Laid

I spent about 10 minutes freaking out that Pecs and NF were the same person. I was disgustingly turned on by the fact that this was straight out of “You’ve Got Mail” – the sex version. We spent the next hour talking about the overlaps between “NF” and “Pecs” and what was true and what wasn’t.

Naturally, being blown out of the water meant none of my questions for NF were answered. To him, this was a game. To me, I felt like an idiot for falling for his mind games. I did my thesis on mind games. Some would even venture so far as to say I invented mind games. What the hell?

Still reeling from being mind fucked to another planet, we decided to walk around a little (translation: go back to my place). We went back to my place and enjoyed some of the 2-buck-chuck I stocked up on earlier that weekend and watched game 1s of the NBA finals (lets go CELTICS!).

We ended up in bed around 3pm. We got out of bed at 9:30pm. This dude, 5 foot 3 inches tall, uncut South East Asian, caramel skinned, impeccable pecs handled me 5 times in that time. And when I say he handled, I mean, he HANDLED. All positions, no holds bar, brief conversation breaks, videotaping, pictures, the whole nine. A perfect sexual rendez-vous for a lazy Sunday.

I’m not going to talk about how he screamed like a little bitch when my cat jumped on the bed or how we made plans to see each other next weekend when I’d rather just do him again tonight, tomorrow, and Wednesday.

Instead, I’d like to tread on the topic of “Friends With Benefits”. This is the worst term I’ve ever heard of. There is no such thing as a friend with benefits. If someone calls you a FWB, or suggests doing a FWB, throw caution to the wind. That person thinks it’s going to end up somewhere. It’s a prelude to “I can’t just be FWB with you anymore, I want to take this to the next level”.

Thus, I propose we bring a new phrase into our lingo, “Sex Friends”. These are friends that you have sex with and also hang out with. Mostly because you have too much in common to refrain from sleeping with each other. And why hold yourself back anyway?

I sent my new “sex friend”, NF/Pecs on his way back to Jersey like a good boy. I left a battle scar on his neck. I don’t care who he does before I see him again, but in the event that he does, the battle scar will indicate, “BM was here first!” And chances are, BM rides it better than you.

I’m nervous that he might fall in love with me, but then again, who doesn’t fall in love with me. Who knows, I might just give him a chance. Yeah right.