Cheaters Always Propser

The last few guys I’ve slept with have either had a girlfriend or were married.  That makes me the mistress, which is a role that I’m actually more than comfortable playing, mostly because I’m a legitimate sociopath.  In all seriousness though, I have several friends who actually have a conscience and would NEVER do such a thing.  While I’ve written about this situation before, I thought it would be nice to do a deep dive as requested by some of my protégés.

There’s a double standard between being a male mistress (maletress?) vs. a female mistress.  We mostly hear of the scandalous tales of the mistress disrupting the perfect union between some wack ass dude and his unassuming girlfriend.  I mean there is a reason a guy will cheat on his girlfriend, and it’s because the trick is stupid, boring, and naive. 

Treading on that for a minute, you’ll also notice the drastic differences between the cheated and cheatee.  Generally speaking, people are more likely to cheat on their mates with someone who is less likely to commit to them in the long run. 

I condone cheating.  I think I’ve made that pretty clear.  Men will always cheat.  They need to because being “faithful” is not conducive to their gene perpetuation.  The mistress is a man’s best-kept secret.  Most of my male friends have or have had their own chick on the side, and I always end up judging the girl as a bitch ass waste of space.    

To be honest, even though I’ve played the role, it’s a stupid role to play, but only for females who think they will manage a relationship out of the situation.  The problem is, however, is that the guy will never leave his girlfriend.  And even if he does, he’ll go ahead and do it again, and this time it’s worse because he’s doing it to you.  On the other hand, if you are just passing time, and don’t expect anything but a physical “bang bang”, then hell, go for it.

There is likely no evolutionary reason for a mistress to stay in this union.  I mean, she’s probably thinking that in some respect, the guy will provide some sort of resource or genetic superiority, but he’s already going to be dispensing his resources elsewhere, so technically there is no point.  Going back to my conscience-toting friends, most just don’t want the karma to come back and bite them in the ass.  Not to mention preserving the “sanctity of marriage” bullshit.

Get real.  I always go back to the same argument.  Marriage is unnatural.  Commitment is unnatural.  How can the population perpetuate, if historically, our ancestors didn’t cheat on their mates?  I guess what it comes down to is that being a mistress/maletress shouldn’t really be considered such a shameful taboo.  It’s a natural part of selection.   So if there are any dudes out there that want to select me as their mistress, feel free to ask me for my number. 

...tbc.