Face Down. Ass Up. Choke.

So this weekend, my friend PP disappeared off the face of the planet, so I was left to fend for myself.  Given the grave state of my number of friends, I called up one of my friends, John, to entertain me.  Before you jump to the obvious conclusion that he was in me for the weekend, he was not.  John is actually a great friend of mine, rather tame, but honest enough to keep me honest, at least for the short time he was with me.

In any event, I had John join me for some weekend drinks, dinner, and shoot the shit.  It was great to catch up with him since he missed my birthday and I missed him when he was in town.  It was pretty interesting to hear him talk about a latest chick in his life. 

I’m always very defensive when it comes to any chick one of my guys wants to bring around.  My mantra is always ‘guilty until proven innocent’, so I was ready to rip into this chick.  However, I was actually pleasantly surprised at the information provided. 

Apparently, John and this chick have been fooling around for about a week.  They haven’t had sex yet, but she has informed him that she is into unorthodox sexual activities.  So I had to feed him a couple of his favorite margaritas to pry the information from him.

This girl is up for anything.  S&M, choking, tying up, I won’t even go into the conversation we had about the zucchinis and cucumbers.  So the girl was someone after my own heart.  What was the big deal right?  The big deal is that it was John who was attracted to her.

Like I said, John is a tame guy.  He is a legitimate good guy.  I mean, I get that opposites attract, there’s obviously a reason he and I are friends, but I started wondering how that all works in bed.  I have had some tame guys in my bed (mostly because I’m stronger than all of them).  I’m into some freakish things, and frankly, don’t introduce it right off the bat given the unusual nature of my kinks.

But how do you have a conversation about these things?  I’m obviously a big proponent of communication, so my first instinct would be to just ask a guy (or girl) what s/he is into.  I think that a lot of people are afraid to do this because you put your kinks on the table and it might scare someone off.  I mean its true, but frankly, do you want to be with someone who can’t share in your love of a nipple clamp?

Okay, so when is the right time to bring something like this up?  I mean, John is 5 days into this thing and he’s already wondering whether he should get a cucumber or a zucchini.  I’ve brought up my nuances with a couple of guys, but like I said, the dudes were too tame to satisfy me. 

My theory is that these tame guys are usually into tame girls, but while they’re “sowing their oats”, they find girls like me (and John’s girl) who give them what they won’t be able to experience in the future.  They’re biologically secure with these girls because they aren’t trying to get impregnated nor are they trying to foster a relationship.  It’s pure unadulterated sex.  (And frankly, my favorite kind of sex).  Once they’ve gotten a feel of the wild side, they will settle down with their fellow tame girls (girls I loathe) and make a pack of tame kids. 

I’ve kind of gone all over the place here, but I want to leave you with a few questions.  Are you into a weird fetish or kink?  If so, and you are in a relationship, does your partner share in it?  And if not, do you let your partners know right off the bat, or later down the line?  In the meantime, I’m going to go ahead and enjoy my zucchini casserole.