Sex in Mumbai

I haven’t gotten any in a long time.  Needless to say, if I’m following Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief model, I’m currently in the bargaining stage.  It’s not for lack of trying.  Nooner and I have been trying to get together and about half of my loyal following wants to screw me. 

That being said, I recently came back from a trip to India.  If you know me, I was more than apprehensive about the trip, anxious that the village would suck me up and I’d have to pee in the dirt.  It was fine.  I was just being a drama queen about the situation. 

I guess my real hold up was how different “they” are versus me.  That their lifestyle would be a polar opposite from mine and frankly, I wouldn’t be accepted.  Sure I wasn’t accepted, but their lifestyle was not too far off from mine.  Being the American novelty, I decided to harness what I could and find out what my homeland’s current inhabitants were all about.

A few people I met were self-proclaimed Bollywood elite, but since you are always guilty until proven innocent with me, I was fine.  It seems that the question about sex and sexuality brings out the same reaction around the locals and what it does to my assholes back home.  I was intrigued. 

So whether or not I tapped into a very rare population (which may be true considering the circumstances), my further probes on the pervasiveness of sexual conversations, fetishes, prostitution and the like were not only discussed at length, but featured several opinions NOT unlike my own.  I was more than intrigued. I was floored.

People, both men and women, were not only sexually active, but more than happy to have a conversation with a total stranger about it (being American helped, I suppose).  After I came clean on my credentials, the real questions presented (with the majority revolving around oral sex in case you were curious).  My only regret was that I wish I had more time and made more friends to further my research on the topic, but in the meantime I was sold.

Maybe I took the third world discrimination, stereotyping a little too far, but in the end, despite the economic state of our hometowns, we shared a common interest that shattered my homesickness and allowed me to express myself in a way I didn’t think I could, in the motherland.

That all being said, I didn’t have sex while I was there.  I was warned about that ahead of time, but it’s nice to know that if I had pursued, I wouldn’t have been shunned.  At least not by everyone.  To my readers in the motherland, email me, I'd love to have a guest blogger or two.