Females have a natural tendency to harness “excitement” in their life. (I hate the word “drama” so much, that I’m going to refer to it as “excitement” from this point on). They thrive off of the competition and jealousy that always involves the attention of a male whether directly or indirectly. It’s inevitable and something I’d rather not condone, but I understand its means, and it’s certainly justified (just like cheating, cuckoldry, sperm competition, and the like). There are some of us who are being weeded out, evolutionary (which I’ve come to terms with) who don’t experience jealousy or have a direct competitive zeal around other women. We won’t be procreating, and have no reason to.
So anyway, with respect to some of my more "fun" sexual trysts, I’ve found that males are actually very prone to this type of “excitement” in their life. These guys are literally acting like “little bitches” complaining and moaning about the most trifling little details.
Speaking with my sounding boards, I’ve found that the urban environment is actually overrun with these types of guys. Now I am completely aligned with male jealousy. I’ve published papers on the emotional jealousy versus sexual jealousy, so I understand that there is a reason behind it in both male and female sexes. I’m not talking about that kind of “excitement”. I’m talking about that middle school shit that we, adults, don’t know how to deal with in the present day, and I can’t, and I won’t tolerate it.
I have a male friend, John, who I’ve known for about 10 years. He is the youngest of three, college-educated, unemployed, but still able to come out and party every now and then. He’s lost touch with many of our (former) mutual friends, simply because of petty bullshit. Examples include: “This guy hooked up with his former girlfriend.” “This girl broke up with him.” Stupid stuff that isn’t even worth expanding on.
John and I don’t talk much anymore, and I think I’m realizing why. John doesn’t share the issues and concerns that I have. I need to worry about my finances, running an organization and working full-time at the same time, dance class, training, etc. He worries about who has the better BMW (that was provided by their parents), where the “it” place to be is on Friday (which is usually a mere 20 minutes away and in a strip mall), and which girl he’ll be taking home following that night (who will be 19, drunk, and easy).
Looking at back at what I just wrote, I remember hanging out with my two very favorite friends, Jay D. and Jay K. (they both had the same name, so I’ll let their pseudonyms be the same as well). I remember worrying about whether I’d inherit my dads Benz or my moms Four runner. I remember trying to get out on Friday night to go to the party being held at Baja Beach Club on Columbus Ave and worrying if Jay K’s girlfriend would show up or not in the hopes that he would make out with me at the end of the night. I remember all this, and it was from 1996.
It’s clear that John and I are on different wavelengths, but it pains me to think that someone who was once such a good friend to me is now so different from me and can’t understand what it means to truly have a concern or issue. There is much more to life than cars, girls, and parties. I know it sounds cliché, but it needs to be said. I can’t help but blame these guys for not stepping outside their self-made bubble and see that there is more to life than the petty shit they are getting pissed off and angry about.
I also can’t help but blame these guys for being dependent (not just physically, but emotionally as well). That being said, I need to implement a new rule (and hope my fellow females will follow suit) to do your homework with a dude. Is he dependent on his family? Is he hung up on an ex? Is he constantly worrying about stupid petty shit that doesn't matter? Throw caution to the wind, the majority of these guys may seem harmless at first, but they’ll burn you in the end (and with the stupidest shit you’ll keep shaking your head at after it happens).
Two things I want to leave you with before I sign off. Friendship is fine, but be careful with these “little bitches” (as I like to call them). a. These guys are stuck in a bubble, and you won’t want to be there when it bursts and b. He’ll be a needy little bitch throughout the courting (friendship or otherwise) process and will whine and pout if he doesn’t get his way. This guy is also being weeded out evolutionary, but it’s for a different reason, obviously.
I’m dedicating this post to all the little bitches out there. Get off of your parents couches and go worry about something real for a change.
3 comments:
First off, thanks for the quote. Here's another one my friends and I frequently use: "Guys are the new girls." Why that does seem somewhat deragatory toward women (just like I've been struggling with not using "bitches" toward men anymore), it's so true. Most guys I know are all emotionally hung up on everything and swing up and down more than the girls. I think part of it is because they (we) didn't have that sort of outlet earlier in life and now that it's okay to express these things, we let it all out.
I mean, my favorite thing to say to a guy friend who is all flummoxed over a girl's action is: "Stop being a bitch." Just the other day I was talking to a friend who was in conniptions about "Does she like me, what's it mean that she did this, etc." I want to roll my eyes and slap them in the face. Simultaneously. We should explore this topic more, maybe next time we hang out in person!
ugh. i hate everyone. that being said let me get into what i am trying to actually say. guys seem to be more openly in touch with their feelings and emotions. It is considered acceptable for a guy to share his insecurities, personal thoughts etc with almost anyone. In fact, (I feel) that it is encouraged. This is all great actually. I'm all for people (guys and girls) being themselves and not conforming to some old school norm. Being open and communicating actually helps a relationship (romantic, familial, platonic, whatever) - duh! But. BUT. There is so much more to it.
Girls (like me) have conditioned themselves to be tough and not take any shit - esp from a guy. Girls (like me) want a guy who is just as strong if not stronger (emotionally) and thinks rationally and logically. I have enough emotional/crazy girlfriends in my life to take care of, I do not need a needy, sensitive man. Girls (like me) are assuming the role of guys in a way. We want to establish ourselves academically, professionally and financially before getting married (yikes, sorry for using the M word) or even committing to a long term relationship. Girls (like me) know what they want in all aspects of life and want a supportive guy.
There are always going to be dumb bitches out there who will try and take your man, but girls like me, shouldn't be bothered (if you have a good man who knows what he has). There are also going to be a lot of skeezy tools out there who will try and get in the way of what you have. Both parties need to regulate. This is where open communication comes in. This is also where the "drama" and "excitement" comes in. The talk you have with your partner can go either one of two ways: 1.) he/she is understanding and handles the situation or 2.) he/she flips out, projects shit back on to you and escalates the situation. It is usually, and unfortunately, the latter.
okay i think i'm off track.
back on track. Guys need to man up to keep up with girls (like me).
I say (like me) because I can't speak for all girls. A lot of girls just aren't like me. Except Ms. Mango Martini - she knows what's up, has her shit together and respects herself. xo
(sorry if this doesn't make sense, i lost track, my brain stopped working, i forgot what your original post said and i just feel like saying what i want).
i just re-read your post and remembered why i said i hate everyone. i'm SO over drama. and guys usually start it. everyone needs to get over themselves and move on with their lives. even now, when i look back 2 years ago at the drama i somehow found myself in the middle of, i'm filled with this all too visceral feeling of embarrassment. Relationships and friendships are forever tainted and someone will always remember you in a negative way.
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