Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me.

This week, I was going to write my opinion about sex on the first date, but then someone asked me how to steal a girl’s boyfriend, so my gears switched up. I think she was being facetious, but truth be told, we were bred to compete for the ideal mate. So when someone comes around asking me how to do this, it’s actually an easy one to answer.

First and foremost, no matter what anyone says otherwise, you have to look the part. A genetically viable female is one who has those childbearing hips and a large enough chest to feed milk to her offspring for days. Men will try and deny this at all costs, but in the end, they’ll marry the curvy chick over the skinny one any day. Trust me.

You can’t just grow these genetically viable physical traits over night. In fact, society has allowed to us feign certain characteristics with the invention of butt pads and boob jobs, but let’s be honest, hooking a guy is easy to do if you know what needs to be done.

Second of all, being easy and fast isn’t going to land you this guy. A coy female is the prime female. Humans are one of the only species (if not the only) who have a hidden ovulation system. Men are more likely to mate with an ovulating woman than one who isn’t (the better to spread his seed, right?). That being said, since men are unaware of whether a female is ovulating or not, the coyer the female, the better the chances a female will land a mate by deception.

Does that make sense? If it doesn’t, let me know. It makes sense in my head, but I mean, I’ve studied this inside out. Okay, so anyway, besides being coy, I hate to say it, but a female in need is also attractive to males. Males in just about all species are bred to provide for their investment. They invest in a woman. She invests in him, and together they produce offspring to carry on the lineage. Okay, so back to being a female in need. There are females out there (mostly yours truly) who are NEVER in need of a male’s resource. Males aren’t attracted to this. They want a female who “needs” his resources.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there is not a DAMN thing wrong with being independent, but you really want to snag a mate, then use those deception skills and let him feel needed. And don’t over do it. That’s when you become a “needy chick”. Don’t be that girl.

I know I’m going to be shunned by my fellow neo-feministic counter parts, but I can’t help but support the biological way that we were created. I know many females and males are going to disagree with my theory, but I really brought up this subject to see what others think on the view of deception and mate competition in general.

I dedicate this to all the girls who wants guys who have girlfriends. You’re better than those bitches anyway.