That Shy Guy, G

In lieu of the month long drought I’ve been experiencing, my sex drive has been in full swing, on the prowl looking for the next piece of ass to hit my bedroom.  Sure, I want to sex a few of my co-workers blind, but there’s never a conference room available, so I can’t do a search and destroy (a true fantasy of mine).  I digress.  A few years ago, I dated the anxious mess that was my first supervisor ever.  I don’t think I ever told you the entire story about how I bed him, so why not do it now during my lack of dick. 

So, fresh out of graduate school, and fresh out of Philadelphia, I moved to New York City, madly in lust with Christoph.  We ended up breaking up because A.  There are too many hot guys in New York City to just let go by, and B.  I’m a big time slut.  So anyway, we broke up and I asked my supervisor, G, out.  He was a 30-something social phobic doctor, and so he was definitely not into the whole “dating a co-worker” thing.

I ended up leaving that place, and funnily enough, he did too.  About a year after we met, we finally made plans to do something on my birthday.  He met me at my place and I was still getting dressed.  But, he had something else in mind, which involved me taking off my very favorite LBD.  It didn’t matter to me, I didn’t have any panties on, and he didn’t mind that.

So, I think what was really interesting was that I pegged this guy as a virgin.  I really did.  I figured that being as social phobic as he was, he’d never get his lay on.  Boy, was I wrong (I do that sometimes, surprising, I know).  He knew his way around my body, like water drops in the shower (award for best metaphor ever).

I hate playing this game where I judge guys for being tame and lame and in reality; they are badass motherfuckers, especially in bed.  Frankly, this isn’t the first time I’ve done this (if you are a regular reader).  But it’s also clear that I have a pattern.  I’m attracted to these guys that are the complete opposite of me in hopes that I’m going to turn them to the dark side, and then boom, they put it down on me better than the one before.

I have to pull in my psych background to diagnose my sub-conscious as fucking around with my conscious.  I mean, everyone says opposites attract, but god damn is that a cliché, and I hate to be defined.  I think it’s time for me right now to stop taking myself so seriously (I mean, when have I ever, but..) and admit that maybe a part of me is a cliché and I do play stupid games with myself.  But I guess that’s what therapy is for.

Thinking about all that, I think I really like playing this game, because, the truth is, it always ends in a great lay.  Speaking of great lays, I wonder what G is up to these days…. (cue searching for his number in my phone…)