Jeal?

I’m not even going to lie when I say I’m one psycho bitch.  I can tear someone up just by pulling a silent shutdown (something I learned from my less psycho mother).  At 27, I got kicked out of a club for punching a girl at my best friend’s birthday.  At 28, I started anger management, and at 29, I have been known to socially murder anyone who does anything that rubs me the wrong way. 

The problem with me is that while it doesn’t take a lot to get me angry, I have a hard time getting jealous and haven’t really been known as the psycho jealous chick.  After writing papers upon papers about jealousy in graduate school and understanding the intrinsic value of it, I realized that while it may be justified, I haven’t been blessed with the “jealousy gene” which furthers my belief that I’m being evolutionarily weeded out.

Whether you are a female or a male, and you say that you don’t get jealous, you are either lying (which is usually the case) or you really lack the gene and weren’t meant to procreate, let alone be in a relationship.

So when a friend of mine asked me if I would be jealous of the future Mr. ControvershiL (I can’t even type that without laughing out loud) speaking with, flirting with, hanging out with other females, I was inclined to say “yes” for fear of being judged.  But I said no, and watched her judge me instead as a liar, which is fine. 

 The down and dirty is the whole idea of cuckoldry, right, so males don’t want their females to copulate with another male for fear of uncertainty of their kin, while women don’t want their males to copulate with another female for fear of resources being expended elsewhere.  Genetic superiority, yada yada yada. 

Back to being a psycho jealous, I think in the end, there is probably a healthy dose of jealousy one can maintain while still being able to maintain a strong relationship.  In fact, I am inclined to believe that a relationship can’t survive without jealousy.  I mean imagine being in a relationship where your counterpart could give a shit what you did (actually after typing that out, I realized that might actually be the perfect relationship for me), but seriously.

I’d like to pose this question out to my readers (who seem to enjoy responding on twitter, which is fine, do what you will, assholes).  Do you get jealous?  If not, are you lying to yourself or are you being genetically weeded out?  If so, how do you deal with it especially if you are in a relationship?  Do you get irrationally angry/agitated/etc?

Off topic, it’s been 3 months since I’ve gotten any and I’ve come to terms with it.  Because the next time I get it in, you better believe it will be good with something for me to write about.

Dedicated to all my jealous bitches (including the jealous dudes who act like bitches).