I'm Not Trying to Get Married

I’m not trying to get married.  Biologically, it’s not natural to be tied down to one person so I can’t even take marriage seriously.   Even as I’m invited to be a bridesmaid to random weddings overseas, I can barely fake my enthusiasm.  I won’t even apologize, since it’s bullshit.  Marriage is bullshit. 

I know that most of you reading this are now thinking that I’m bullshit, and you aren’t too far off.  You are probably thinking that I just haven’t found the right person, and again, you are probably right, but I’m too cynical to care.

This got me thinking about my married friends.  I wonder if they are happy, faking happy, or miserable.  I’m actually inclined to think the latter simply based on science and reason, and the emails upon emails I receive of both males and females unhappily married.  And I sure I’m only hearing one side of the story, but I can’t help but be biased after reading some of your letters.

And instead of being an asshole and just outright saying you should leave your significant others, I’m actually going to offer some general advice on how to attempt to make this work (if that is really what you want). 

If you read my work, and you know me, you know that I’ll tell you how it is.  And that is how it should work with any type of relationship.  Communication.  If you can’t communicate with someone, whether it’s a friend or someone more than a friend, then it’s clear you aren’t meant to be.  I hate to say it, but its true.  Yeah, you are going to say that it is easier said than done, and that’s true.  But if you can’t man up to communicate what the problem is, then you can’t complain about the issue.

And further more, if you can’t communicate pre-marriage, then what the hell are you even thinking?  Walking on eggshells your entire life is bullshit and that’s what I’m hearing in your letters.  It’s not going to get you anywhere and you will end up in more than resentment.

It gets me thinking about this whole arranged marriage fad.  Is it because of society or is there really something to it?  My parents were semi-arranged and they are almost 30 years strong.  No walking on eggshells, communication on point.   Comparing them to some of my married friends, I’d have to say that I’m actually more in favor of an arranged marriage over those who actually do it willingly. 

I commend my married friends who are “happily married” and subsequently have healthy sex lives and have kids and are STILL happy.  

End rant.

What are your thoughts? 

Dedicated to my married friends.  One pair in particular.  They know.  They’re assholes.