I’m one horny motherfucker. I’m glued to my television, watching CNN, and growing increasingly restless at the thought of being stuck indoors because of this stupid storm. And all I want is someone to come over to keep me occupied before I lose my mind (I mean, too late for that).
So my mind wanders to about a few weeks ago, when I agreed to go on a date with a friend of a friend, who I’ll call “Nooner” for obvious reasons. Nooner and I had a lot in common so we were able to sustain conversation for the entire duration of our standard drinks and dinner. After we were thoroughly imbibed, I invited him over to really just shoot the shit (but truth be told, if I invite you over, you pretty much win). And really, you can guess what happened next.
It got me thinking about having sex on a first date. If you are anything like me (and god help you if you are), there is no such thing as waiting for a second date to have sex. But of course, I’m a psychotic exception, so I posed the question to my esteemed colleagues and loyal twitter followers. And true to form, I received arguments for both sides of the story.
I can talk about sexual compatibility for days on end, because that’s really what it comes down to. Sexual compatibility is just as important as emotional compatibility, if not more so. If you are going to sit down and have a conversation with a potential mate to see if you are emotionally compatible, why not see where the night ends up and perhaps turn it into a fuck fest in your bedroom.
I mean I guess I just don’t understand the counter argument. There’s a stigma around having sex on the first date. Mostly with females, but in some occasions with males too. People want to foster a relationship and make sure they are compatible before giving it all up. I mean I get it, but does no one believe in the idea of sexual compatibility? I’m not by any means saying that you should just meet someone and have sex, but I don’t think you should hold yourself back if the chemistry is there.
From what I gather, males think to tend think a female is easy if she sleeps with him on a first date. Fine. But why does it have such a negative connotation? The girl is just trying to see if she’s compatible. Why not be easy? Or for that matter, why not be fast? Is it really so demeaning?
Males always have an easier time with sex on a first date because they are always ready to go. I mean, I’m generalizing, but if there is a male out there who doesn’t feel that way, he’s being weeded out (and I dare you to prove me wrong). Males are always willing to have sex on a first date, they’re just trying to spread their seed around, so it’s natural, primal, all that other shit I preach to world’s end.
Back to Nooner, I had sex with him on the first night I met him, shamelessly and damn was it good. If you know me at all, I hate dating. I think it’s archaic and unnatural, but hey I’m also being evolutionarily weeded out. Anyway, I’d be interested in keeping Nooner around for a bit (despite his 7 inches), if he’d ever return my propositions (clearly I’m hoping he’ll read this and get the hint).
Truth be told, if I was into dating, I might give Nooner a chance. But he might just end up thinking I’m easy.
2 comments:
This is why people wait to have sex
1) Oxytocin. You get prematurely bonded to someone when you have sex. Oxytocin also makes you lose your objectivity. You ignore red flags that you usually wouldn't ignore.
Some people may say "I don't get bonded to people. I fuck them and forget them." When you get so used to having sex without emotions, your brain then produces opiates that soothe the oxytocin. While this makes it easy for people to casual sex, it will be hard to bond in a long-term relationship.
My two cents.
I am having a hard time with this. I just started seeing someone and the chemistry is SO there! First date didn't result in sex, however it very easily could have. I've been told that I've already let things get "too far", esp if I want a relationship with any substance to come out of this, which I do. So torn!
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