I Make 'Em Bust Quick

I always say that there is no point of having sex unless you have an orgasm. I’ve been doing this twitter guy, JB, who has left me pretty satisfied, but I mean, you’re always going to have that one night when he finishes too fast, and that’s when I go psycho on a dude's ass (could be a reason why I’ve been highly agitated this week…hmm). I feel like there’s nothing he can do to make it up to me. I posed this question to my friend, Pina, and she agrees,

"...fingering and oral sex doesn't make up for premature ejaculation...”

I have biological theories about the “premature ejaculation” that I won’t go into today. I mean it’s happened with every guy I’ve slept with and every guy in general (and those numbers are actually pretty close). In all seriousness though, it’s always the same story. Girls hate it and men are embarrassed by it. So how do we recover from it?

It’s like how Pina puts it; even a perfect anatomically correct model in the form of one of those vibrators I so adeptly broke cannot make up for a live dick. It’s just the way it is. Not to mention if you are wet as a river, getting pounded from behind, with your hair being pulled off your scalp—and then BAM. He finishes, and you’re so fucking frustrated, you punch the dude in his balls (based on a true story).

That’s not to say that men don’t have their own frustrations. Blue balls are a common phenomenon, (although I have yet to see or taste an actual pair of blue scrotum), and I suspect it’s the same idea. Men are so worked up to get off, and for whatever reason, they don’t, and want to punch a girl in her ovaries (Is that from a movie? It sounds familiar).

Okay, back to PE. I mean there’s nothing that can be done. You have to go with the flow, hope for the best that he’ll be roaring to go in 5, 10, or 30 minutes. I do want to take this time to discuss the Coolidge effect. You can google why it got that name, but I’ll talk about what it is. Standard copulation includes a male who ejaculates into a female and then takes time to get it up again (which is sometimes frustrating for us females). However, the theory behind the Coolidge effect is that if female-1 steps out of the room, post coitus, female-2 can come in and the male will immediately be ready to go again. Did I make that clear?

Because he’s already inseminated one female, he would be biologically ready to go again in another female who he hasn’t already inseminated (and in turn perpetuated his gene pool). Now, unfortunately, we haven’t been able to have a controlled setting to test this theory in humans (I’ve actually looked into doing a study for this, email me if you want to know what happened with my grant submission), but it was first observed in chickens (with Calvin Coolidge) and then taken into the lab with rats.

The data is pretty amazing surrounding the Coolidge effect theory, and quite honestly, I’d love to test it out. I think we’ve come a far way from my story about PE, but we’re still talking ejaculation, so it’s still relevant.

I haven’t had the worst luck with guys who have prematurely ejaculated (which is strange considering my tagline is “I Make ‘Em Bust Quick”). I think I’ve managed to pick out guys who I know can handle. But that’s not to say there isn’t a way around a dude who busts quick.

First of all, virgins are ALWAYS more susceptible to finishing fast, so I avoid them at all costs (not to mention they get clingy as hell, please also read previous post entitled “There’s A First Time For Everything” regarding how to avoid a PE with a virgin).

Virgins aren’t the only ones that finish fast. Some guys just have bad days, and you don’t realize it’s going to happen. However, there are some guys who are just always going to finish fast. Based on research I’ve done (i.e. asking my friends who are just about all male), jerking off regularly is one of the best ways to avoid prematurely ejaculating. I wonder about the term regularly. On average, I rub one out once a day, but from what I understand, it’s a higher rate for males. Whatever the average masturbation rate is for males is what I recommend, not just for guys having PE problems, but also for all dudes in general. Masturbation is underrated.

In any event, I’ve offered some advice on how to avoid the PE in prior posts, but I’d be really interested in hearing what some of you do to avoid busting quick. Ladies, do you have any special techniques that keep your trysts from finishing before you’re ready?

I dedicate this post to twitter guy, JB, whose small dick and one PE still manages to make me laugh. (Relax; I’m not in love with him).

(Editor's Note: I posed an off topic question to my twitter followers about a separate entry regarding the necessity/enjoyment of an orgasm. One of my followers made a very good point in that the PE is tied to a woman's a. inability to achieve orgasm, and b. a lower desire to achieve one. I just thought I'd share as it ties into the PE discussion above. Please see future blog post on orgasms for more on the topic)