Undercover Hos

I struggle to make sense of people who can’t own up to their inner slut, like those girls who will sleep with anything and everything or those guys you know get so much fucking play because their hot as a mother fuck (like MBB from college, who coincidentally is now engaged!).  But they don’t own it.  It’s a secret, and you know damn well we talk about them behind their backs in hushed voices, while I’m silently shunning them from the “Getting Yours” brotherhood (see me for details and initiation package).

I knew this girl in high school who would sleep around with everyone.  She wouldn’t own it, but I don’t think she cared what people thought about her.  Either that or she didn’t know what people thought.   Looking back, I realize that I may have judged her.  But I’m basically living her life right now and fully respect her choices and the fun she must have had. 

Then I knew this girl in college who penetrated (best word EVER!) our friend circle and tried to sleep with everyone in it (including Christoph), only one of which bit, who later was more than heart broken.  I actually used to like her, even respected her for her boldness, up until she did that. 

Sure, I slept with Toby and Christoph, who were both at one point friends or cool or whatever college guys are with one another, but I never thought about the ramifications about it until recently.  Until I started pushing 30 and realizing that my insecurities from then would NOT fly in this day and age.

So, I’ve had sex with plenty of my friends.  In fact, many of the guys I’m friends with now are guys I’ve slept with in the past.  (It’s kind of like how I initiate you into my friend circle.)  In any event, I didn't think I'd see most of these guys after I banged them.  It was kind of like a hit it, leave it, over it kind of deal, but lucky for me, I got a friendship out of it (I mean, mostly because I’m awesome, but who knows).

Leaving college has kind of changed my mentality, because at this point in time, I have several friends that I’ve yet to sleep with and frankly don’t really want to.  I suspect the sex would be great, and my friendship wouldn't be ruined or anything, but I just prefer not to compare them to some meaningless sex I have outside of the circle and I’m just secure enough with myself to make and keep a friendship without the hit it quit it clause. 

Does that make sense?  What I’m trying to get at is that we’re at a point in our life where you can’t get away with the shit you used to.  Go ahead and sleep with the person you meet in the lounge at the Coffeeshop on Saturday, but don’t try and sleep with the friend you grew up with or try to sleep with a friend circle or anything of the like.  It’s bad practice, and frankly a clear sign of insecurities. 

Trying to find the one girl or guy who will fall for your bullshit just so you can get what you want out of the situation.  Get the fuck out of here.  No one appreciates that shit.  Get over yourself, your insecurities, your low self-esteem, and get a new hobby.  We’re almost 30 and everyone can pick up on your bullshit.

I spoke with several colleagues about this subject.  People are certainly judgmental of people who are out to get theirs (present company included).  Sleeping around is not exactly rewarded, but sleeping around in a circle of friends, and further not owning up to it, is just plain bullshit.   

Just own up to the fact you are trying to get yours and the dudes will come flocking.  Trying to be an undercover slut will just give you the reputation you aren’t trying to have.  Don’t be that person.  Look amongst yourselves.  I wouldn’t write about this if I didn’t see it.  Although, you probably don’t read this, so it will be lost on you. 

Dedicated to my two non @ buddies.  You know who you are (clichéd, I know, but whatever).    Also dedicated to Toby who was a “down low ho” in college, we all knew, and talked about it all the time ;).